“As the Lodge Turns” Episode 19: The Lodge Princess

 On this episode of “As the Lodge Turns”…

“Good luck today, Ellie!”


“You’ve got this, Kona!”


“Go Maya!”



Who needs a horde of raving fans anyway? My victory is assured…

Today is the day I will prove that I am, in fact, the only dog worthy of the title “Lodge Princess”! Though a competition is positively redundant, I pride myself on my fair-mindedness – they will each have their chance!


“Oh, oh, I just know you’ll win, Princess Scarlett! No one else can match you! I’m so looking forward to watching you obliterate them…” Cocoa Bean says, walking circles around me in her excitement.


Raving fans are unnecessary, but not entirely unappreciated.

In the crowd of lowly spectators I catch sight of Bing, his posture sloppy and unassuming, as always. Lucy is standing at his side, close enough to touch him. Who does she think she is?!


Well, no matter! After today Bing will be reminded of my innumerable assets and forget all about her. I suppose I can allow Lucy to enjoy her final moments with him…

“Hey, Princess! You can’t rule the Lodge and La-La Land! The competition’s about to start!”

German S close

That wretched German Shepherd certainly knows how to elicit a few cheap laughs! My first regal decree shall be Max’s banishment.

“Welcome to the first ever, and hopefully last, ‘Lodge Princess Contest.’ First, Ellie K. And please make haste, it is rather hot,” Buffy announces with a weary bark.



Ellie stands before the audience with a surprising degree of poise. I will give her credit for that…

“Why should you be declared Lodge Princess?”

She blinks at us with a demure expression.


“Excuse me, but I believe the Lodge Princess should be a kind dog, who puts others before herself. Therefore, I cannot compete for a title that should belong to us all. Thank you very much.”


With those words spoken softly, she departs the center of the circle with delicate steps. I admit that she has set the bar…higher than I anticipated.

“Kona, why should you be Lodge Princess?”

Kona flops to the ground, as if the whole process is a mere chore!



“Well, it doesn’t really matter. But since we’re all here I guess I’d be a good princess because I’m a great big sister. I already have one loyal subject, what’s a few more?”


“Hey! Who said I was your subject?” Brea, her sister, barks from the back of the crowd.



Buffy sighs, her tail swishing from side to side as if she wishes to sweep Kona away. There was nothing to worry about – I have already won!


“Maya, please share your reason. And I pray it is a good one.”

Maya saunters to the front with an innocence that borders on arrogance! How dare she act as though she never said anything!


“Okay. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. A princess is usually prissy and isn’t allowed to have fun. That’s not fair, is it? So here’s my idea: I’ll be a princess who plays! I’ll set a precedent that will improve the lives of princesses everywhere! Watch!”


Before I can blink she tears off towards the pool and leaps in! I have never seen such uncouth behavior at an event of this importance…she should be ashamed! However, I cannot complain too much, for she has determined her own ineligibility. I am the clear victor.


“Scarlett, you may proceed. Please.”

This is my moment of glory!

“I do not believe an explanation is necessary. Instead, I would ask that you think deeply about how blessed you are to bask in my presence.”


Excellent words, if I may be so bold. Coupled with a few of my signature poses, there is no way I will not regain my status!




“Yeah, yeah, we’re all basking! I’m starting to get a sunburn, I’m basking so much,” Max quips with a cocky grin. A princess never resorts to violence, but he makes me question such an inconvenient principle…

“I suppose this competition ends with the best for last. Very well, I shall allow you to present me with the title now.”

To my shock, Buffy’s eyes narrow.


“You are not the last.”

As the final contestant enters the circle, my heart nearly stops.

It cannot be…!

…to be continued…